Saturday, January 31, 2009

get OFF my nerves- achieving good interpersonal relationships

"Hey girls, I have an idea which we could work on for our entrepreneurship proposal plan! Looking at the current trend, this could be the next IN-thing and I am referring to the concept of going green with the public involved! See I have done..."

"Wait a minute, did you say green concept? With public involvement? That is so stupid, you can't be serious! the public do not care much and..."

"Come on, give me a break. As I was saying, it is just an idea! Besides, it is true! Eva, I think you should show more concern to the current affairs to keep yourself updated. Anyway, I have done quite a fair bit of research about this Green Concept and currently, even though people are aware of the importance to practise the 3Rs, either they do not have enough knowledge to do so or they do not have the funds to do so. In Singapore, driving the economy is still the top priority and..."

"SEE! Precisely, people do not care right? So what makes you think that this plan is going to succeed? In addition, do you really think that you are so great to get enough support for this? Or do we have enough resources to do so? Just to remind you Jean, we have a budget to keep to and I think we should stop wasting time, just get on with proper..."

"Hey wait, can you let me finish what I have to share first before interrupting me?" Jean snapped back at Eva. "I have done an online survey and the responses are not as negative as what you have claimed!"

"Girls, stop it! Let's have a ten minutes break to recollect our thoughts, I'll see you girls back here shortly." With that, I walked out of the meeting room.

This is ridiculous! In fact, I think I am angry, we all are. On top of that, Jean is losing her patience and Eva is feeling irritated. I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. However, I felt helpless sitting in the leader's position. I desperately want to make this a success but with the present situation, how can I go about doing that?

I feel that Jean is not showing me respect as the leader and insistent with doing things her way. Eva on the other hand, is not sensitive to the feelings of others, making assumptions and throwing wet blankets at everything that was shared. Also, more misunderstandings have been created because everyone was losing control of their tempers. How can we come to a consensus and still not strain our relationships?


"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence." - Dorothy Thompson

6 comments:

  1. The topic you have addressed is very popular. When you are assigned to be the leader in a group, most of the time you realise, it is difficult for the other group mates to respect you especially when you are younger than them.
    Firstly, I suggest group meeting should not be carried out when the members are angry or pissed off,this leads to further misunderstandings.
    As a leader in a group, you should be open to suggestions of the other members, but they should have relevant facts to support this, like for the case when Jean suggested she had done an online survey, she should be given better priority to push her ideas forward. Even the idea of taking a break to chill the atmosphere was a good move.

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  2. Thanks, Zi Qi, for this dramatic portrayal of a conflict situation. Casting it into a theatrical dialogue was a good idea. However, it might have been even clearer if you had given just one or two more "...said Eva," or "I stated."

    Be that as it may, I like the way you have presented this and then posed the relevant question. I hope you get more feedback from your blogging partners (although Yuvraj's is pertinent!).

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  3. Hi Yuvraj, I agree that it is difficult to gain respect. On top of this, sometimes I feel working with a group of guys may be tough too because some of them still have that mentality that "girls are weaker and why should I listen to you". However, at the end of day, there is really a sense of GREAT satisfaction when they go "WOW! This girl is really capable!" (Girls have egos too! but that is beside the point.^^)

    Adding on, it is especially difficult to lead either a team of leaders or a team whereby there are teammates younger than you. Like what you said, leaders should be open-minded to suggestions. At the same time, act appropriately to each situation.

    There are so many more qualities that a leader should have! I think one important one is that leaders should NEVER lose thier cool! This will probably comes with hard work and practise!

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  4. Thanks Brad! I think I will do some more editing when there are more comments rolling in.

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  5. Dear zQ, your post is really interesting with the heated dialogs between the 3 girls. I think you must really have a terrible headache directing your group. It will be really difficult to come to a decision as each memeber of the group has her own opinions. Ultimately, i think the decision on whether to go ahead with Jean "green suggestion" depends on the requirment of the entrepreneurship project. As Eva was so receptive of Jean's proposal, you could ask her to suggest what she had in mind. Then, all of you can probably weigh the pros and cons between these two proposals together and come to a consensus. I feel that Eva and Jean would realize which topic is more suitable after discussing the topic in a diplomatic way.

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  6. Thanks Terry! You suggested a pretty wise decision I could make! I especially like the point you mentioned about taking into consideration of the objective of the project. often, we will drift away so much from our main purpose and focus so much on unnecessary matters. By ensuring everyone has a common goal, it makes discussion more effective and easier too! Of course, I guess at the end of the day, everyone must be compose and learn to listen to one another!

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