Having to spend most of our time interacting with people and working with them, communication has been an important bridge to link with others and build on further relationships. Personally, I feel that effective communication does not comprise of speaking well only because without active listening and due care understanding, it will just be a one-way "traffic". And most often, such people are not able to build lasting relationships. Eventually, the risk of misunderstanding others and being misunderstood will increase. Thus, cultivating good communication skills are essential as we need to apply them to our everyday lives.
I feel for this because I went through a few bad incidents whereby there were serious miscommunications that happened in the course of execution a project, resulting in misunderstandings, it was not a wonderful thing to go through. I learnt that one needs to be able to convey to others in a effective manner. Sometimes, we have to take into account of what is the personality of the other party to prevent strains on the working relationships. All in all, communicating in an effective way (and may varies depending on who you are communicating to) is very important. As the speaker, it is our job to be as clear as possible so that our listener will understand; as the listening, it is our job to stay focus and objective.
I would not say that I am a good communicator because it is so hard to stay focused and patient all the time while listening, and accurately recalling the conversation to give constructive feedback. Also, our natural habits may come in a way which further damages our quality of communication.
I think that one of the effective ways to learning to communicate effectively is to observe and pick up good traits exhibited by good communicators. In addition, one needs to think before speaking and to be equipped with a certain level of confidence. Furthermore, I also believe very much that finding a style that suits ourselves are important. Sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to see people who worked so hard to imitate others but still failed.
In attempt to live up to the name of engineering students, here is an (MY) equation to share:
E.C = intergrate infinity (confident thoughtful speaking + active listening) * individuals' style WRT lifelong = good relationships (of all kinds) with people.
"take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style. the sharpness. the clarify, and the emotions to affect other people". - Jim Rohn
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Dear Zi Qi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post. I like the way you zero in on communication as a contextual enterprise, a situation where all participants are responsible. You also mention how important it is to "pick up traits exhibited by good communicators." How to do that?
I do have a few other questions. You mention your "bad experiences" when a breakdown would take place. I wonder what those were. How did they influence you?
Also, I have a question about your language use.
This sentence has odd structure:
"Having to spend most of our time interacting with people and working with them, communication has been an important bridge to link with others."
The participle phrase should be modifying a noun that HAS to spend time with other people, but you use "communication" as that noun instead. This phrase is called a dangling modifier, because what should be modified isn't...so the phrase is left hanging. Do you see why?
In any case, thank you for your effort here. This sort of skill development is a learning process, of course, and now we're well on our way!
Personally, I feel that picking up traits from good communicators is a way of learning how to communicate effectively. Communication is a difficult skill to master and much practice is needed. Observing how good communicators communicate is one way of picking up their traits. For example, the way they present themselves, the way they planned their gestures and movements, the way they listen and react responsive to the other party. I am not sure if I am making sense and am clear enough, but it feels that observing others is a good way of learning too!
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the bad incidents I went through, basically there were serious miscommunications that happened in the course of execution a project, resulting in misunderstandings, it was not a wonderful thing to go through. I learnt that one needs to be able to convey to others in a effective manner. Sometimes, we have to take into account of what is the personality of the other party to prevent strains on the working relationships. All in all, communicating in an effective way (and may varies depending on who you are communicating to) is very important.
Thanks Annie! You are a wonderful blog buddy! Let's work hard together for the next few posts^^
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just thought that it may be contradicting for some when I mentioned that it is important to pick up traits from GOOD communicators and yet at the same time, find the style that suits our personality. Basically I meant that whatever that we observe, learn and even adopt, we can modified them so that when we practise them, they come off naturally from ourselves, as if they are intergrated in us already - our style!
P.S We only HEAR (and pick up) the GOOD stuff, no bad words, grins.
Thanks, Zi Qi, for the clarification.
ReplyDeleteRemember, you can always return to a post and edit it. Nothing on the blog is written in stone!
I deleted my previous comment as I made an error. Oops!
ReplyDeleteAs your blogging buddy, commenting on your post seems rather silly. I also apologise for not perceiving the "dangling modifier". I don't even know what that means.
Anyway, I like the usage of buzzwords in your post (the ones highlighted in red). I didn't praise you in my email so I am doing it here.
I also (corrected from always) fully agree with you about finding our own styles. I have a peculiar problem. When I spend too much time with a certain friend, I will unconsciously start using their catchphrases or worse, swear words. I am still exploring to find my own style.
I shall work hard and comment on three other posts. I just felt I owe you this as your blogging buddy!
I would like to comment on the 'think before speaking', this is a very important aspect. Basically sometimes you tend to respond quickly whenever someone ask you a question and this be a way of bad communication. As you mentioned active listening and thinking well before answering is a good way of effective communication.
ReplyDeleteAs we say that each person is unique, so the idea of picking a unique style and adapting a good posture helps us also.
I agree with you that being able to speak well does not ensure that there will be good communication and free of conflicts. I personally encountered some situations where I spoke my mind too freely and resulted in conflicts in the group. I think good speech, body language, tone, and a bit of EQ helps towards making good communication. I think your post is so detailed as is your blog with the poems and quotes, which is really sweet. =)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that effective communication require cooperation from the involved parties: concise and clear conveyance of ideas by the speaker and active listening by the receiving party. For your point on finding "own style" in communication, I feel that it require lots of practice by communicating with different groups of people. Probably, this may require different styles to communicate with people of different personality and perspectives. Lastly, all u points in red are spot-on the topic. Good work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Terry! I agree with you that finding own style is not as simple as I have put it. It definitely requires a lot of effort. And you added that we need to find out by conversing with different groups of people, it is so true!
ReplyDelete