Monday, April 13, 2009

my stop at S16-04-40 (edited)

I still remember my friends’ reactions when I told them that I would be taking ES2007S Professional Communication for the new semester. The ‘HUHS, Professional Communication…’ and “WHYs” were written clearly on their faces but I just smiled and told them that I believed it would be useful for my own personal development. Deep down, I knew the reason why I took this module. I wanted to find out what I was lacking when came to communicating with others and I wanted to improve on that, especially since an incident in the past that seemed to prove that I did not have wonderful interpersonal relationships with others. Up to this point in time, I still feel that the remarks made by those particular few were not justified. Fortunately, from this course, I realize that there is much more to communication than to what I have observed in the past.

On the very first day of lesson, ground rules were laid out (though some were not diligently followed as time goes by). Even though it sounded like a hectic schedule planned ahead for us, I was anticipating what would be up next. And as the days went by, the lessons got more and more interesting because I was able to find out things that I hope to know and understand. At the same time, listening to Mr Blackstone telling us all his nice stories and classmates sharing their experiences made lessons fun; this is definitely not the norm I will experience back in my own faculty.

I feel that the syllabus is well-planned, all the assignments and project have a clear objective behind them. In addition, my learning was further enhanced because there were always feedback and advice given by Mr Blackstone and fellow classmates. For example, I know the area of improvements for myself when comes to interviewing and resume writing. I learnt that "as such" is not a good transition word and many more!!=)

Now that I have gotten my new 'driving license' and I no longer have any instructor next to me to guide me, it is up to me how I can drive myself (and maybe others) around safely and happily!

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/life-on-train.php

This stop here at S16-04-40 with my ES2007S tutor and classmates has indeed been a fulfilling and enriching one. Thank you everyone for this pleasant journey and all the best for your endeavors!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My presentation - reflection

I knew I started on the wrong note but I could not bring it back on track. I know that I could perform better, but I guess the nervousness overpowered everything else. I did not want to refer to my hand notes so much but could not help it when my mind went blank. I think the main reason for why it happened is due to lack of practice and quite a fair bit of expectations and pressure from myself.

I was not very satisfied with my performance for I think I could have done much better. I think it is a lesson to learn that one should never forgo about practicing to perfect. No matter how great the slides and content can be, delivery is important to complement with the resources we have. At least something to be thankful about, despite the bad start off, I did tried to bring it back on track by speaking clearly and confidently.

I think we (my group and I) were pretty efficient in doing our work, we almost had the draft ready by the lesson before our presentation, more editing of content/format/animations were done however, nearer to the presentation day. I guessed the whole process was fun and fulfilling, just that the schedule was a little too tight, and we were not left with much time to have proper rehearsal. The only time we were able to do so was 2hrs before our presentation. Nevertheless, its still great effort from everyone, I enjoyed myself!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

a side note

For a leader who is very passionate about what he/she does, it is very unmotivating when he/she is not able to bring the group together, worse still, sees the passion and commitment of everyone slowly dying out. It is not a matter of whether he/she is an effective leader, it is probably also not a matter of the kind of group that was formed, there are too many unexplainable undiscovered reasons that we do not know.

However, I still believe that our mind is a very powerful weapon that will help guide us through and it is the responsibility and discipline of every individual to make things happen.

I am not sure if I am guilty of it, and there is no reasons/excuses if I am but just to be ashamed of myself.

I think I understand the cause of frustration and I thought I got a hint of discouragement (or maybe I think too much). Whatever it is, please don't!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Zi Qi's Biodata

Zi Qi is currently a third year Mechanical Engineering undergraduate at the National University of Singapore (NUS). She pursued this course of study due to her strong interest in Physics and Mathematics. In addition, she plans to pursue a part-time business and accountancy degree program with ACCA within the next one year because she sees herself setting up a business in the education sector.

Besides managing the hectic workload of studies, Zi Qi has also been actively involved in school activities. She was the Assistant Financial Secretary of NUS Students’ Engineering Club in which she had to take charge of the reimbursements of the club and managed the expenses of some of the projects. She also served passionately in the NorthWest Community Development Council as the Vice-Chairperson of the Youth Assembly, and as a Cadet Inspector Instructor of the National Police Cadet Corps in the Headquarters. She was also the President of Student Council back in her secondary school. Furthermore, she has notable experience in the field of teaching, and training and development from her 4 years of part-time tutoring and as a camp facilitator.

Zi Qi is a disciplined and confident individual who enjoys picking up new skills and overcoming challenges. She loves learning as much as sharing the knowledge and believes that both will complement each other in her life journey. She believes in steadfast in duty and always takes pride in her work.



vetted by Chee Kiang

Monday, March 16, 2009

Communicate if you do not want to be misunderstood!

There are many factors that define the role of an effective and/or good leader. To a large and important extent, I agree that leadership boils down to the relationship between the leader and his team (1Leader-Member Exchange Theory) because no matter how capable a leader can be, he will not be able to perform without any support from anyone. The leader and followers always come together to achieve a common goal and they do so by playing a different role. However, what seems to be the toughest part is maintaining a healthy working cum personal relationship for the both. Much effort is needed to build an effective 2-way communication and understanding; otherwise, things can turn out nasty.

I always feel that I have a problem with maintaining lasting relationships especially with people who I cannot relate well to. Therefore, it is hard to strike a conversation on other topics besides work. Oddly, I think that it is acceptable so long as the current relationship still allows both parties to be friends, and it will be too hypocritical to try to be close to them.

Unfortunately, many of my friends have tried to proof me otherwise and convince me that this is how the society works, and no matter whether I can clique with the person, I must “pretend" that I can. I think that it is because of this, sometimes I may appear unapproachable and when I do not create chances for others to understand me, I am creating chances for them to misunderstand/misinterpret me and my decisions. However, I know that I still believe in my stand though I am quite deeply saddened by the ungrounded fact.

My father always have a classic line for me: if one person thinks negatively about you while others do not, then there must be something odd about that one person; however if majority feels that you are not good enough, then do some deep soul-searching because you may be the odd one. It makes sense but somehow I am not fully convinced. Is it really so?

How can we communicate with people who we have no common interest with and cannot relate to in order to build a good lasting relationship?


1 Also known as LMX or Vertical Dyad Linkage Theory, describes how leaders in groups maintain their positions through a series of tacit exchange agreements with their members. It mainly focuses on creating positive relations between the leader and subordinate.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Learning to grow in an intercultural environment

“Mom, what are you putting at those corners in the balcony?” I asked sleepily one fine morning. She was so focused on what she was doing and only after a while, she flashed a rectangular box at me and it read “ANTS AND COCKROACHES KILLER”. I knew why. Not only had the recent ‘invasion’ by unexpected new ‘visitors’ to my house caused my mother to keep the house extra clean, it had also resulted in the stocking up of more insecticide and Dettol. This was not the situation before they moved in.

My new neighbor was living in one of the rural parts of China before they came to Singapore. They started out as a family of 4, which over the years has increased to 7. They are friendly people, but one thing that disgusts us was their lack of hygiene.

They always had the habit of drying food (e.g. shrimps, cuttlefish, squids, vegetables) right outside their house for a few consecutive days. When the wind blows and carries the smell over, it is not pleasant at all. Furthermore, their food attracted ants and they did not have preventive measures in place. These ants started crawling around the whole place, causing inconvenience to all and putting small children at risk. At first, I was very irritated and tried to talk my mother to talk to them but she said that we should learn to accommodate to their custom. This may have been the way they lived back in their hometown. I was not convinced and I felt that since they are living here in Singapore, they should adapt to our style!

The door bell rang and my mother answered to accept a parcel. She signed for it but something caught her eye as she stood rooted in her position for a long time and one corner of her mouth twitched as she tried to control her anger. The look of disgust was written all over her face. I walked over and to my surprise, I saw my neighbor’s child peeing outside their house!

My mother took a while to compose herself. I would not have expected her to scold the child nor speak to our neighbor as she has never done that, but this time round, she invited my neighbor to come to our house for lunch. During lunch, I overheard their conversation and was amazed by how she managed to communicate to my neighbor without straining their relationship. Subsequently after the talk, my neighbor took note of their actions and the situation improved.

The whole episode would not have a good ending if I told them bluntly how irritated I was with their habits or if my mother had vented her anger by scolding the child. From this incident, I realized that we need to be in control of our emotions before deciding what to do. When in comes to communicating with someone whose culture and the way they were brought up is entirely different from us, we need to understand them first before trying to ask them to understand us. Only in this way, both parties will be able to come to a consensus faster.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Business Correspondence - securing a deal

This is an email reply I received regarding getting sponsorship for an annual publication. Before continuing, I will have to mention that my team and I really appreciate the support our sponsors had given to us and till now, I believe the club are still maintaining good relationships with them! Here it goes:

The names and organization have been changed to ensure confidentiality.

From: sponsor@sg.abc.com
To: receiver@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: XYZ Club – Annual Publication 2007
Date: Mon, 28 May 2007 17:12:06 +0800

Hi Receiver no punctuation

Tried calling you today incomplete/rude sentence.

We will try to e-mail you the artwork by this week not clear enough/this week when?. Hope it is not too late too casual/appear rude .
Between typo error, I received 2 copies of your invoice. I guess too casual/appear rude one is redundent spelling error?

Thanks & Regards no punctuation
Sponsor

From the short email reply as seen above, we can identify a few errors. Firstly, the sentences were not complete sentences. Furthermore, there were a few minor typos and spelling mistakes. Even though the reader was able to understand the content, I feel that the content of the reply could be clearer. I think that the sender was probably trying to be friendly by being casual, however as a result , the sender might come across as rude to the reader. Therefore, I suggest that the way of writing could be done in a more professional manner since it was a business deal.

I believe that the email can be written more effectively as followed:

From: sponsor@sg.abc.com
To: receiver@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: XYZ Club – Annual Publication 2007
Date: Mon, 28 May 2007 17:12:06 +0800

Hi Receiver,

Thank you for your reply.

I have tried calling you today but I was not able to reach you. Therefore, I will try to send an email with the artwork attached to you by end of this week. I hope that it will not be too late for you. However, if you need it urgently, please let me know and we will try our best to work things out. It will also be appreciated if you could check your mailbox regularly this week for any new incoming updates from us.

By the way, I have also received 2 copies of your invoice. Please let me know which one should I refer to in order to make the necessary payments.

Thank you!

Warmest Regards,
Sponsor

Saturday, January 31, 2009

get OFF my nerves- achieving good interpersonal relationships

"Hey girls, I have an idea which we could work on for our entrepreneurship proposal plan! Looking at the current trend, this could be the next IN-thing and I am referring to the concept of going green with the public involved! See I have done..."

"Wait a minute, did you say green concept? With public involvement? That is so stupid, you can't be serious! the public do not care much and..."

"Come on, give me a break. As I was saying, it is just an idea! Besides, it is true! Eva, I think you should show more concern to the current affairs to keep yourself updated. Anyway, I have done quite a fair bit of research about this Green Concept and currently, even though people are aware of the importance to practise the 3Rs, either they do not have enough knowledge to do so or they do not have the funds to do so. In Singapore, driving the economy is still the top priority and..."

"SEE! Precisely, people do not care right? So what makes you think that this plan is going to succeed? In addition, do you really think that you are so great to get enough support for this? Or do we have enough resources to do so? Just to remind you Jean, we have a budget to keep to and I think we should stop wasting time, just get on with proper..."

"Hey wait, can you let me finish what I have to share first before interrupting me?" Jean snapped back at Eva. "I have done an online survey and the responses are not as negative as what you have claimed!"

"Girls, stop it! Let's have a ten minutes break to recollect our thoughts, I'll see you girls back here shortly." With that, I walked out of the meeting room.

This is ridiculous! In fact, I think I am angry, we all are. On top of that, Jean is losing her patience and Eva is feeling irritated. I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. However, I felt helpless sitting in the leader's position. I desperately want to make this a success but with the present situation, how can I go about doing that?

I feel that Jean is not showing me respect as the leader and insistent with doing things her way. Eva on the other hand, is not sensitive to the feelings of others, making assumptions and throwing wet blankets at everything that was shared. Also, more misunderstandings have been created because everyone was losing control of their tempers. How can we come to a consensus and still not strain our relationships?


"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence." - Dorothy Thompson

Sunday, January 25, 2009

effective comm(U&I)cation - edited

Having to spend most of our time interacting with people and working with them, communication has been an important bridge to link with others and build on further relationships. Personally, I feel that effective communication does not comprise of speaking well only because without active listening and due care understanding, it will just be a one-way "traffic". And most often, such people are not able to build lasting relationships. Eventually, the risk of misunderstanding others and being misunderstood will increase. Thus, cultivating good communication skills are essential as we need to apply them to our everyday lives.

I feel for this because I went through a few bad incidents whereby there were serious miscommunications that happened in the course of execution a project, resulting in misunderstandings, it was not a wonderful thing to go through. I learnt that one needs to be able to convey to others in a effective manner. Sometimes, we have to take into account of what is the personality of the other party to prevent strains on the working relationships. All in all, communicating in an effective way (and may varies depending on who you are communicating to) is very important. As the speaker, it is our job to be as clear as possible so that our listener will understand; as the listening, it is our job to stay focus and objective.

I would not say that I am a good communicator because it is so hard to stay focused and patient all the time while listening, and accurately recalling the conversation to give constructive feedback. Also, our natural habits may come in a way which further damages our quality of communication.

I think that one of the effective ways to learning to communicate effectively is to observe and pick up good traits exhibited by good communicators. In addition, one needs to think before speaking and to be equipped with a certain level of confidence. Furthermore, I also believe very much that finding a style that suits ourselves are important. Sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to see people who worked so hard to imitate others but still failed.

In attempt to live up to the name of engineering students, here is an (MY) equation to share:

E.C = intergrate infinity (confident thoughtful speaking + active listening) * individuals' style WRT lifelong = good relationships (of all kinds) with people.


"take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style. the sharpness. the clarify, and the emotions to affect other people". - Jim Rohn

Thursday, January 22, 2009

aloha~~

hello! this is something which I would like to share. It is adapted from a monthly college newsletter I came across a couple of years back and I have added, edited and modified it with a more personal touch.

somewhere between the *PROCRASTINATION* and the homework

and the incessant forwards and e friendships
and the calls to each other complaining about CRUSHES and BF/GF
somewhere between the phonecalls to old friends
and the 'I MISS YOUs', the 'I LOVE YOUs' and the 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?'
and somewhere between the WORK, COMMITMENT and being BUSY
and somewhere between all the CHANGING and GROWING
somewhere between the CLASSES and the SKIPPING CLASSES
and the PRETENDING to 'STUDY' for tests
and the DOWNRIGHT NOT studying for tests
somewhere between all the appointments, starbucks and Macdonald's
PAYING bills and NOT PAYING bills
MAKING plans and BREAKING plans
appearing, disappearing then REAPPEARING
i forgot- forgot what it was like to CRY
i forgot that pretending to be HAPPY doesnt make you happy
i forgot that you cant just FORGET the PAST just in fear of the FUTURE
i forgot that you cant control FALLING IN LOVE
and that you CANT make yourself -FALL IN LOVE-!
i learnt that it's OKAY to mess up..okay to feel like CRAP!
i learnt that SOMETIMES the things you want MOST you JUST CANT HAVE
and the things you LOOK for are RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
i learnt that the GREATEST thing about SCHOOL,
is the *FRIENDSHIPS**
i learnt sometimes the things we WANT to FORGET are things we NEED MOST
i learnt that just when you think it CANT get WORSE- IT DOES!!
but with the *LOVE* and *SUPPORT* - you SURVIVE:)
i've learnt that when you start feeling BAD
and losing TOUCH with those that you've LOST
they TOO! are feeling the same way
most IMPORTANTLY, I just learnt that my *FRIENDS*..both old and new..
and my ^FAMILY^are the ~MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE~to me
and without them..
i wouldnt be
WHO I AM TODAY