get OFF my nerves- achieving good interpersonal relationships

"Hey girls, I have an idea which we could work on for our entrepreneurship proposal plan! Looking at the current trend, this could be the next IN-thing and I am referring to the concept of going green with the public involved! See I have done..."

"Wait a minute, did you say green concept? With public involvement? That is so stupid, you can't be serious! the public do not care much and..."

"Come on, give me a break. As I was saying, it is just an idea! Besides, it is true! Eva, I think you should show more concern to the current affairs to keep yourself updated. Anyway, I have done quite a fair bit of research about this Green Concept and currently, even though people are aware of the importance to practise the 3Rs, either they do not have enough knowledge to do so or they do not have the funds to do so. In Singapore, driving the economy is still the top priority and..."

"SEE! Precisely, people do not care right? So what makes you think that this plan is going to succeed? In addition, do you really think that you are so great to get enough support for this? Or do we have enough resources to do so? Just to remind you Jean, we have a budget to keep to and I think we should stop wasting time, just get on with proper..."

"Hey wait, can you let me finish what I have to share first before interrupting me?" Jean snapped back at Eva. "I have done an online survey and the responses are not as negative as what you have claimed!"

"Girls, stop it! Let's have a ten minutes break to recollect our thoughts, I'll see you girls back here shortly." With that, I walked out of the meeting room.

This is ridiculous! In fact, I think I am angry, we all are. On top of that, Jean is losing her patience and Eva is feeling irritated. I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. However, I felt helpless sitting in the leader's position. I desperately want to make this a success but with the present situation, how can I go about doing that?

I feel that Jean is not showing me respect as the leader and insistent with doing things her way. Eva on the other hand, is not sensitive to the feelings of others, making assumptions and throwing wet blankets at everything that was shared. Also, more misunderstandings have been created because everyone was losing control of their tempers. How can we come to a consensus and still not strain our relationships?


"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence." - Dorothy Thompson

effective comm(U&I)cation - edited

Having to spend most of our time interacting with people and working with them, communication has been an important bridge to link with others and build on further relationships. Personally, I feel that effective communication does not comprise of speaking well only because without active listening and due care understanding, it will just be a one-way "traffic". And most often, such people are not able to build lasting relationships. Eventually, the risk of misunderstanding others and being misunderstood will increase. Thus, cultivating good communication skills are essential as we need to apply them to our everyday lives.

I feel for this because I went through a few bad incidents whereby there were serious miscommunications that happened in the course of execution a project, resulting in misunderstandings, it was not a wonderful thing to go through. I learnt that one needs to be able to convey to others in a effective manner. Sometimes, we have to take into account of what is the personality of the other party to prevent strains on the working relationships. All in all, communicating in an effective way (and may varies depending on who you are communicating to) is very important. As the speaker, it is our job to be as clear as possible so that our listener will understand; as the listening, it is our job to stay focus and objective.

I would not say that I am a good communicator because it is so hard to stay focused and patient all the time while listening, and accurately recalling the conversation to give constructive feedback. Also, our natural habits may come in a way which further damages our quality of communication.

I think that one of the effective ways to learning to communicate effectively is to observe and pick up good traits exhibited by good communicators. In addition, one needs to think before speaking and to be equipped with a certain level of confidence. Furthermore, I also believe very much that finding a style that suits ourselves are important. Sometimes, it can be heartbreaking to see people who worked so hard to imitate others but still failed.

In attempt to live up to the name of engineering students, here is an (MY) equation to share:

E.C = intergrate infinity (confident thoughtful speaking + active listening) * individuals' style WRT lifelong = good relationships (of all kinds) with people.


"take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style. the sharpness. the clarify, and the emotions to affect other people". - Jim Rohn

aloha~~

hello! this is something which I would like to share. It is adapted from a monthly college newsletter I came across a couple of years back and I have added, edited and modified it with a more personal touch.

somewhere between the *PROCRASTINATION* and the homework
and the incessant forwards and e friendships
and the calls to each other complaining about CRUSHES and BF/GF
somewhere between the phonecalls to old friends
and the 'I MISS YOUs', the 'I LOVE YOUs' and the 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?'
and somewhere between the WORK, COMMITMENT and being BUSY
and somewhere between all the CHANGING and GROWING
somewhere between the CLASSES and the SKIPPING CLASSES
and the PRETENDING to 'STUDY' for tests
and the DOWNRIGHT NOT studying for tests
somewhere between all the appointments, starbucks and Macdonald's
PAYING bills and NOT PAYING bills
MAKING plans and BREAKING plans
appearing, disappearing then REAPPEARING
i forgot- forgot what it was like to CRY
i forgot that pretending to be HAPPY doesnt make you happy
i forgot that you cant just FORGET the PAST just in fear of the FUTURE
i forgot that you cant control FALLING IN LOVE
and that you CANT make yourself -FALL IN LOVE-!
i learnt that it's OKAY to mess up..okay to feel like CRAP!
i learnt that SOMETIMES the things you want MOST you JUST CANT HAVE
and the things you LOOK for are RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
i learnt that the GREATEST thing about SCHOOL,
is the *FRIENDSHIPS**
i learnt sometimes the things we WANT to FORGET are things we NEED MOST
i learnt that just when you think it CANT get WORSE- IT DOES!!
but with the *LOVE* and *SUPPORT* - you SURVIVE:)
i've learnt that when you start feeling BAD
and losing TOUCH with those that you've LOST
they TOO! are feeling the same way
most IMPORTANTLY, I just learnt that my *FRIENDS*..both old and new..
and my ^FAMILY^are the ~MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE~to me
and without them..
i wouldnt be
WHO I AM TODAY